The Meaning of Duty
by fireicewriter42
Summary: "What happened to the boy that stumbled into my chambers a few years ago?" He grew up; and he learned the meaning of duty. But who taught Merlin the meaning of duty and self-sacrifice? It turns out it was a lesson taught by example. Companion piece to Vision of Happiness: recommended but not required. No slash. Oneshot. I own nothing.


**A/N: What's up guys? So this is inspired by something I noticed after rewatching Merlin...again...but we won't get into that! Anywho, I thought I'd turn it into a quick oneshot. This is set in my "Vision of Happiness" fanfiction universe, however, I *think* it will make sense even if you haven't read VOH. I do recommend it, though. And for those of you have already read VOH, welcome back; this is set after Avalon, shortly before Merlin tells Arthur of his tragic vision. Also, be on the lookout for VOH updates, as they should be coming soon!**

 **As always, please rate and review, and I'll catch you on the flipside!**

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"Story time?" Arthur glanced at Merlin as he stoked the fire. Merlin looked up, biting his lip.

It had only been a few days since they had returned from Avalon. Slowly, Arthur and Merlin were finding their rhythm again; but things were different. Merlin was different. Arthur had been convinced that his clumsy, idiot manservant was still the same person, even with his magic. Then he woken up on the banks of Avalon with a crying Merlin, and something was different. Merlin was quiet, reserved. Scared. And that, no matter how much he wouldn't admit it, cut Arthur to the core. Was Merlin really still afraid that Arthur would execute him?

It ran deeper than that though. Merlin had tersely explained to Arthur that the Sidhe had refused a deal, but that Merlin had traded Morgana's life for Arthur's using his magic. Arthur didn't fully understand the details, but something was wrong. Merlin refused to mention Avalon or Camlann again. When someone did, he shut down. It was like he was a shell. Occasionally Arthur caught him staring at him with tears in his eyes. Merlin flinched when Arthur touched him. Sometimes when he saw Arthur enter a room, he had a look of such shock on his face that it was if he had expected Arthur to still be dead. It was unnerving. But Arthur trusted Merlin; whatever had changed, whatever had happened, it was something that had deeply disturbed his manservant's spirit. Arthur only hoped that in time, when they adjusted to the new dynamic of trust and truth between them, things would go completely back to normal.

One thing that had changed however was every night, Merlin shared one story of his magical defense of Arthur with the king. Every aspect, every detail, nothing left out. Merlin had started with explaining the prophecy of Emrys and the Once and Future King. Second, he explained why he came to Camelot and the details of when he saved Arthur's life from Mary Collins.

Now, Merlin hesitated before coming to sit across from Arthur at his table in his chambers.

"Do you remember Valiant?" Merlin asked to open. Arthur's eyes lit up.

"You summoned the snakes, during the fight, didn't you?" Merlin nodded, a small smile on his face.

"I stayed up all the night before to learn the spell."

"Hang on, I thought you said you were born with magic?"

"I am. I could do magic naturally without spells, but even I need to study. Especially for more complicated things I can't do instinctively."

"How did you learn the spell?"

"Gaius gave me a magic book."

"Of course he did. Continue."

"I practiced all night on a statue of a stone dog I wheeled up to my room. I brought it to life." Merlin cocked his head, smiling. "How I got away with stealing that statue I don't know now. The dog I placed in with your hunting dogs and no one was ever the wiser."

"You can't be serious."

"In fact," Merlin was almost grinning now, "I think he became your best hunting dog. The black one with the brown chest and ears? I think you retired him about a year ago because he got so old."

"I remember that dog! You mean to say he used to be a statue?" Arthur asked incredulously. Merlin nodded.

"Honestly, Merlin." Arthur snorted in amusement. Merlin smiled softly. Arthur looked down at the table, his smile fading as he reflected.

"I sacked you that day." Merlin looked up.

"You didn't know me then."

"I believed you, Merlin. I sacked you because I was embarrassed and angry. I took it out on you, and I'm sorry." Merlin's smile broadened, shrugging.

"You already apologized once, if you recall."

"And rehired you in the next breath, I remember." Arthur shook his head, sighing. "Why did you come back? You could have said no, you know. Was it just because of destiny?"

"I didn't believe in destiny back then, Arthur. I didn't believe that I would be able to help you do anything. I came back...because I believed in you." Arthur looked up in surprise.

"You believed in me?" he asked incredulously. "I was horrid to you, we couldn't stand each other."

"Well, I'm not going to argue with you there." Merlin smirked.

"Merlin." The warlock looked up at the seriousness in his king's voice. His expression grew sincere.

"After you sacked me, I came to you again, remember? I told you not to fight. Do you remember what you said?" When Arthur shook his head, Merlin smiled slightly. "You said you couldn't withdraw. That your people expected you to fight and that you couldn't lead men into battle if they thought you a coward. You were fully prepared to die the next day, and I asked you how you could go into battle like that. You said that it was because it was your duty." Merlin met Arthur's gaze, a fond light in his eyes. "Arthur, before I met you, I knew nothing of duty. I didn't know what it was to be a part of something bigger. To bear up under the weight of responsibility even if it cost you your life. To have that strength and courage in you, because you believed so fully in something. To do whatever it took for the good of someone else. To do the right thing no matter the sacrifice. I looked at this complete and utter _dollophead_ in front of me, and I realized you had all that figured out. I realized I had under-estimated you. That under the prat was a good heart and a man more courageous than any other I had ever met." Merlin looked away now, his eyes finding the tabletop in embarrassment.

"I didn't think I could ever be so strong or brave. To fight even though I knew I would die. To do the right thing even if it cost me my life. You taught me the meaning of duty and sacrifice, Arthur. I learned from your example. I'm able to do what I do because I saw you do it first. I...I wanted to be someone worthy of your respect. I wanted to be someone you saw as that courageous, too. I wanted to truly earn your trust and your friendship. Because that...self-sacrifice I saw in you, that inspired me. And it made me believe in your destiny, even if I didn't believe in mine." Merlin met Arthur's gaze again. "I watched you fight Valiant. And when you won, I was so... _proud_. Not only that you had won, but that I had helped. I believed in the world you would build, and that was the day I decided that I wanted to be a part of that. I looked at you standing in that arena, and I thought to myself then 'There is one I could follow. There is one I could call King'**. Something...resonated in my soul, then." Merlin laughed softly. "Kilgarrah was right...it truly was the beginning."

"Merlin...I don't know what to say." Arthur's voice cracked ever so slightly. "I...Merlin, you...you are a much better man than I could ever hope to be. Your level of self-sacrifice and sense of duty I could never hope to attain. And to hear...that you wanted to be worthy of my respect...is perhaps the most humbling thing I've ever heard. And the greatest compliment." Merlin smiled up at him.

"Well don't let it swell you head too much, cabbagehead." Arthur chuckled quietly. He rubbed his temples, subtly scrubbing at his eyes.

"Thank you, old friend," Merlin told him sincerely.

"No, Merlin, thank you, my friend."

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 **A/N: And I gave myself feels. I'm just peachy, I'm sure I can pick my heart off the floor eventually.**

 **But seriously, I feel like Arthur gets a lot of hate for being a prat. Which he is, I'm not denying that. He put Merlin through a lot, and I get so mad at him for not just being nicer and giving Merlin the credit he deserves, but let's be fair. Arthur was willing to sacrifice quite a lot for his kingdom and for his men. Even for Merlin. And after rewatching Valiant, it was readily apparent that Merlin was in awe when Arthur was prepared to die to face Valiant. I think that truly did inspire Merlin and was why he became so devoted to Arthur.**

 **In a fanfiction I read a while ago ("Lessons" by TheOceanBreathesSalty), the writer made the statement that Arthur taught Merlin how to be a man. And I honestly think to some extent that is true. So this is inspired by that as well.**

 *****Let's play guess the quote! I couldn't resist, it just fit so perfectly.**

 **And that's all I have for now! God bless, guys!**


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